Crones, like wounded tigers, should not be toyed with when they are ill!  Especially during a FULL MOON (like today).  I’d only had one cold in 35 years and am sporting my 8th bout of bronchitis in18 months since moving back to Appalachia.  Is the Universe trying to tell me something?  I don’t know how to be ill …so this is truly a challenge.

Unlike the tiger I was not up all night stalking prey.  I was hacking up a lung until the wee hours of the morning.  That, with this full moon energy, has me ready to rip off a head, and pour stump water down a neck.  To be forewarned is to be forearmed. At least I try to be fair when I have my cranky pants on….which is not often.

The staffs I worked with in corporate america use to hang a full moon sign on my office door to warn the uninformed.  Don’t we wish all of life’s hurdles had a full moon sign posted for us? Nature is fair; like the Crones we post signs.  We don’t want to harm or maim we just want to be left alone and treated with due respect during times of challenging energies.

Young people would do well to start learning to read the signs.  Like the wisdom of the shaman, it’s all out there for you if you learn to read the signs.  Learn to improve your awareness by reading the signs in every moment of the day.  Be in the present and improve your chances to live longer and seize all opportunities, all around you.

Now, with this helpful hint from the Crones in your toolbox, you are better armed to make the best of this day ….FULL MOON… and otherwise.


The Queen Cronista



This is to the lady in the Walmart parking lot who was traveling at break neck speed while puffing on a ciggy and talking on her phone.  You almost broadsided me running that stop sign.  I had to draw a deep breath as you puffed along and  barely missed a mother and child walking into the store.

In my opinion people with this amount of disregard for civil law and human life are no better than terrorists.  There is a special place in Hell for you.  There is no one on that phone that can’t wait to hear your dribble.  The life of that mother and child outweighs any useless gossip you may be engaged in at the moment.

Idiots are a special topic to this Crone; mostly because they show up every day.  This topic may show up often.  I realize you cannot fix stupid even with super glue. We can get wiser to acknowledging their existence, and raising our awareness, to avoid letting them randomly kill us and our love ones as we run a simple errand.

Stay alert “Crone Brigade”; we love you and don’t want you hurt.  Keep your awareness fine-tuned… like a ninja warrior… at all times.  The Universe is a better place with you in it.  The Karma Cops will remove the Idiots slowly but surely.


The Queen Cronista


I believe, that as drivers, we are all responsible for seeing to it that we, and everyone on the road, arrive safely at our destination each day.  I learned this in defensive driving schools because I had company cars for years.  It is a solid obligation.

So, to those aggressive, or winsome drivers, who grace the roadway with us on our journey, here are a few tips from the road hags school of driving crone-ology.

First of all you cannot molecularly transmute through my vehicle in front of you no matter how close you get to my bumper.  Scotty is not going to beam you up and make the rest of us disappear.  Back off!

To Wilamena the Winsome, weaving all over the road worse than any drunk, while you read a text from your beloved in dewy eyed wonder…that text message will store just fine until you park your car. Stop now or pull off the road before you kill one or more of us.

To Bubba the Truck…what the pluck!!! Your aggressive behaviour to everyone on the road is just not acceptable , it is illegal.  We are all going the same direction (well maybe not you; you are going straight to hell)…but I digress.  Your souped up, deformed truck with roll bars, skull decoupage, and tires bigger than dump trucks….this is the only large thing in your life…deal with it!  Don’t take it out on the world.

To Juicy Old Crones, and Creaky Old Dudes, driving on a major a highway or no passing, 2 lane street, at 10 miles an hour…(this is also illegal). We love you and do not begrudge you your right to get about.  God love you for still trying.  However, please stay in the “slow lane”, and do not get out during lunch hour, rush hour or any other time of major traffic congestion.  Time your trips otherwise, so you don’t stress yourself and your fellow travelers. Some of us only have 30 minutes for lunch. If we follow behind you we have to turn around and go straight back to the office because it took us so long to get to our destination.

And lastly teenagers.  Your new found driving freedom is not for breaking land speed records on public roads. It is not about venting anger because the rest of the world doesn’t know its all about you, and won’t get the hell out of your way.  It is all about safety first. Yours most importantly.  There are many people who love you. They don’t want to have to come and identify your cold dead, mangled carcass in a morgue, because you decided to vent  anger in a 2 ton weapon at breakneck speed.  Basic physics: you will not win when you collide with any object fixed or otherwise.

Take it from the Crones, we’ve been involved in assisting with legal cases, our comments are from observation and the research of experts, not just Two Juicy Crones on a tear.


Serves 4 (double for 8); 400 Degree Oven; grease muffin tin

1lb.                Baking Potato,peeled and cut in to chunks

1 Cup            Skimmed Ricotta Cheese

1 Cup            Sharp Cheddar Cheese, Shredded

1/2 tsp          Sea Salt Or Himalayan Pink Salt

1/2 tsp          Ground Black Pepper

1/2 Stix         Butter (melted)

2 Tbsp          Olive Oil

4 Cups          Finely Chopped Kale (Ribs Removed)

3/4 Cups       Diced Onion

2 Cloves       Garlic,  Minced

1/4 tsp          Crushed Red Pepper

1/4 tsp          Smoked Paprika

Placed diced potatoes in a pot and cover with water BTB (BRING TO BOIL); simmer for 10 minutes until tender and drain.  Combine potato, cheeses, salt and pepper in large bowl, and toss to combine.

in a large sauce pan add olive oil and 1/2 of the butter.  Sauté Onions until brown, add kale, garlic cook until kale has wilted. Sprinkle with paprika.  Add kale mixture to potato mixture in the bowl and fold in keeping potatoes lumpy for texture.

Divide the mixture into 8 equal portions and gently shape into a ball. Place each in a greased muffin tin press gently to fill the cup. Brush the rest of the melted butter over the top of each patty.  Bake in a 400* oven for about 25 minutes unto golden brown.  Let cool 10 minutes; remove from muffin tin and serve immediately with a side salad.


We are in a cold snap here in the South.  Great Fall weather, my favorite time of the year.  But it appears that Mother Nature plays tricks on some of her Juicy Crones.  I woke up this morning at a time when I’m usually at work already.  Rushed to get into what I call ” full drag” and rushed in the office to get coffee made so I could even function.

Does nature ever reek havoc on your system without you getting the memo that its coming?  I fell asleep at 5 P.M. last night after i fed the dogs.  I woke up at 8:30…too late to eat supper, watched Netflix for an hour and must have drifted off again.  Anyway it was like having a sleeping sickness.

Our body rhythms take over even without our permission.  I woke up this morning contorted into some weird pretzel shape and in need of coffee, only to find there was no time to make it.  The Universe had conspired to make me slow down in spite of my efforts to plough through the daily morass at break neck speed.  Take a Crone’s advice, learn to listen to your body rhythms early in life. You won’t be disappointed.  Young or old if you burn the candle at both ends the Universe will put Mother Nature on direct order to slow you down.  Don’t make God throw a brick. I chose to ignore the signs, and twice in my life and He did.  I have a metal plate in my leg, and a crushed skull to prove it.

The cycles of nature are a clue in themselves.  This is the time of year the animals gather and store nut, many animals and insects go into the earth to hibernate, and the plants go dormant to rest until spring.  My point, slow down, but never quit the race.  Follow the rhythms of nature.  Meditate more, keep some healthy soup on the stove top and for goodness sake get sleep.  Your body will thank you, your immune system will thank you and the Power of the Universe will bless you.



You go to breakfast each morning at the same place because it’s the only place close that is open.  You usually have the most hospitable wait staff.  Then it happens. They bring in a new “Twinkie” who seems to think the world is there to serve her and not her to serve the customer.  She’s too self-possessed to even qualify to ride a broom.  She glares at the two “Crones” who visit each morning and try to be pleasant and cheerful to her.  She refuses to reciprocate. She seems invested in making all around her miserable and to share her mood.  Hellooooooo! You make your living from tips (well maybe not this Twinkie for long).  I use to leave a 25% to 30% tip for her predecessor.  Her predecessor, like most of the staff,  was charming, polite, service oriented, and did not tell you that it was not her job when you asked for something as important as flatware.

What part of common sense do you lack?  Let’s just make everyone uncomfortable, ruin a perfectly good breakfast, and go the extra mile to be rude and lacking in manners.

Not happening! We owe it to the manager to address the training issue immediately. Refuse to sit in that section. I even asked him to make sure she didn’t spit on people’s food.  If she can’t be trained get rid of her…. or be willing to loose the good customers who show up each day, and spends several hundreds a month in dining and other purchases.  Corporations want a huge bottom line to show their shareholders each year. However, they will not address the importance of public contact issues with their employees.   I’m old, I should certainly know by now that you can’t fix stupid.  However, more importantly, If you think training is expensive price incompetence!