Diva Musing: It’s a Southern Thing:

Something a Southern Mom Might Say…

Southern mamas don’t mess around when it comes to manners. From birth, our mothers have been telling us how to act with some of the most colorful phrases ever uttered.

Who has been told that we weren’t raised in a barn? Or not to look a gift horse in the mouth?

The answer is every single one of us. And not just by our own mothers. Mamas we’ve never met before have used these mom-isms on us. Because there ain’t no off-switch on being a mama.

When it comes to the South, manners are taught from birth.

That’s why there are so many Southern phrases about being polite and minding your manners, most of which we can still hear our mamas saying in that tone of all-knowing authority. After all, were you even raised in the South if your mama didn’t yell “were you raised in a barn?” at least once every weekend?

With that in mind, we thought we’d take a look at some of the phrases Southern mamas live by when it comes to manners.

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.

Meaning: Don’t assume something is going to happen before it does.

An empty wagon makes a lot of noise.

Meaning: people who don’t know what they’re talking abut tend to say the most.

Mind your P’sand Q’s

Meaning be on our best behavior

Buzzards and chickens come home to roost.

Meaning: What you do and say will catch up to you.

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.

Meaning: Don’t assume something’s going to happen before it does.

You’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Meaning: You get better results when you are polite.

Don’t get too big for your britches.

Meaning: Don’t be conceited.

Pretty is as pretty does.

Meaning: How you treat people is more important than how you look

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Meaning: Don t’ question the value of a gift.

Hold your Horses.

Meaning: Be Patient.

Were you raised in a barn?

Meaning: Close the door behind you.

Don’t let our mouth overload your tail.

Meaning: Don’t say anything you can’t back up.

Be like the old lady who fell out of the wagon.

Meaning: Mind your own business.

Don’t sit there like a bump on a log

Meaning: Don just sit there not doing anything.

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Diva Rambling: 12 Rules…

Earl Nightingale’s 12 Rules…

You have probably guessed by now the Crones are into energy and vibration big time. There are so many motivational speakers out there today. When I was young my father taught classes by Dale Carnegie who wrote “How To Win Friends And Influence People.” The current list of motivational gurus is enormous and so many are pedantic and repetitive of the others. However, my Diva favorite is Earl Nightingale. I opine him as the father of it all. I buy books from his publishing company all the time. I’m a fan of NLP and can find lots there to read. So I thought this rainy day in the mountains I’d motivate you with a little of Earl Nightingale’s tips on life…I believe this is a truly beneficial list. You are thinking: “It can’t be this simple?” It can; don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!  P.S. number nine is my favorite!!!

Namaste, The Queen Cronista

Here is a list of twelve rules Earl gives us…

1. It is our attitude in the beginning of a task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.

Attitude is everything. A bit of self-awareness helps one to recognize the moments in which their attitude did not match the desired outcome.

Way I see it, you can either adopt a positive attitude (you will get what you want, you will accomplish a certain task, you will reach your goal) or a negative one (you will fail, all you think about is your fear of failing and the negative consequences of that).

2. It is our attitude towards life which determines life’s attitude towards us.

Life acts like a mirror. It shows us who we are, what our deepest fears are, what we hate, what we desire, what we expect to happen. It’s not magic, but it could well be.

Ever been in a bad mood? Ever noticed how that affected the way people reacted to you? Ever been in a great mood and noticed the way people treated you then? The difference was determined by your own attitude.

3. We are interdependent. It is impossible to succeed without others. It’s our attitude towards others that will determine their attitude towards us.

No man is an island. Or so they say. And it’s not just the thing that you can accomplish anything, but not everything, but it’s also the fact that most people feel lonely inside themselves, as if others are not as human as they are and couldn’t possibly understand what they’re all about. It’s rather selfish, I think.

4. Before a person can achieve the kind of life he wants, he must become that kind of individual, he must think, act, talk, walk, and conduct himself in all of his affairs as would the person he wishes to become.

This is a tricky one. It sounds obvious, but it is difficult to pull off. In order to get something out of life, you need to pay your dues in advance. That’s how things work. And if you want to get more, you need to become more. Every challenge demands a new you, a better you, someone who has a different mindset and does things differently.

Fake it until you make it, they say. Disrupt the circle. Do something different. Visualize who you want to be and pretend to be that. Learn from those who already are what you aspire to become.

5. The higher you go in any organization of value, the better will be the attitude you’ll find.

There’s this myth that climbing up the social ladder involves being ruthless or knowing the right people or being just lucky. It’s a myth. And, yes, plenty of people find themselves in positions of power by chance, but they seldom stay there.

Jim Rohn put it brilliantly when he said that if someone offers you a million dollars, you’d better become a millionaire fast. That way you can get to keep the money.

Great leaders are trustworthy, honest, and they extend this circle of trust to the far reaches of their influence. That’s why they are loved by so many. They make the helpless feel save, the weak feel strong, and give hope to those who have lost it long ago.

6. Your mind can hold only one thought at a time. And since there’s nothing at all to be gained by being negative, be positive.

Negativity is addictive and contagious. You get to feel a bit better after complaining about your problems or circumstances, but then you need to do it again. A vicious circle.

Negativity is also poison. It inhibits your ability to be creative, to grow, to expand, to become a better you, to attract the right people into your life.

Everything you are first started as a thought. That’s how powerful thoughts are. There’s nothing in our world that didn’t first start out as a thought.

7. The deepest craving of human beings is to be needed, to feel important, to be appreciated. Give it to them, and they’ll return it to you.

Believe it or not, the way you treat people is the way they treat you. That’s true 99.99% of the time. Also, it is important to admire and appreciate others. People don’t do that enough.

If you do that, then you’ll also understand what needs to be done in order to be appreciated by others. What are the qualities that make people admire a fellow human being.

8. Look for the best in new ideas.

It’s easy to discard new ideas as being too risky, or too complicated. It’s easy to be a pessimist and say that it probably won’t work out. But the truth is that you are gutless.

9. Don’t waste valuable time broadcasting personal problems. It probably won’t help you, it cannot help others.

Don’t do it with your friends and family, don’t do it on your blog. People don’t care about your problems, because they are too busy trying to solve their own.

Living in what I like to call a therapy culture, we’ve grown used to tell everyone our problems, for which we receive something that falsely resembles compassion.

It’s okay to have problems, to feel burdened and overwhelmed by them. It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to want to give up.

NO, it’s not. Every problem has a solution, but talking about it over and over again won’t make it go away.

10. Don’t talk about your health, unless it’s good.

Again, don’t complain. Don’t be the guy that never gets invited to parties. You know what I mean by that.

11. Radiate the attitude of well-being, of confidence, of a person who knows where he is going. This will inspire those around you, and you’ll find good things will begin to happen to you.

You want to know the secret of success that eludes most people? That others want to be around people who exude joy, who are confident, energetic, alive, passionate. That is it. It’s not about the money, it’s not about the looks, it’s not about being something you’re not, it’s all about your attitude towards yourself, others, and life itself.

12. Treat everyone you come in contact with as the most important person on earth.

How often do we forget others are human beings, just like ourselves? How often do we fight with others simply because we are in a bad mood? How often do we operate in this auto-pilot, egocentric mood that makes us feel as if everyone is in our way, everyone is dumb and slow and lazy, and we take everything personally?


Diva Musing: Ways To Deal With Judgmental People…

I found this and needed it. Thought you might also. The work I do causes me to have to judge situations at once.  I need little booster shots to keep me going on track…
Ways to Deal With Judgmental People…
Whenever I come in contact with highly judgmental people I do my best to put myself in their shoes and understand why they behave the way they do and why they feel the need to point the finger at those around them.
You see, I really believe that underneath it all we are all good, kind and loving beings but because of the many challenges that life sends our way and because of the many struggles that we all face, some of us become bitter and resentful. When that happens, we begin to project our own pain and suffering in the form of blame, judgment, and criticism onto the world around us.
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7 Clever Ways to Deal with Highly Judgmental People
Today I want to share with you 7 clever ways to deal with highly judgmental people in a more positive and loving way.
1. Don’t take things personally
If someone you know is judging you harshly, know that it is probably because they judge themselves harshly. They speak to you in the same way they speak to themselves. Don’t take it personally. Don’t make their negativity your own. Don’t let their toxic words go to your heart. Don’t poison yourself with things that have little or nothing to do with who you are.
Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering” ― Miguel Ruiz
2. Look beyond appearances
Learn to look beyond appearances, to really see and hear what their soul, not their ego, wants you to see and hear.
Look beyond appearances, behind the harsh and toxic words, and see if you can find that place within them where love, beauty, and kindness resides. Look for the for the good in people and trust that by doing so you will help bring out the good that lies in them.
3. Compassion
When people are feeling down, unhappy, lost and disconnected from themselves and the world around them, that’s when they begin to project their own darkness onto the people they interact with, that’s when they start judging the world around them. It’s when we are unhappy with ourselves that we begin to judge, blame and criticize those around us.
Treat everyone with respect, love, and compassion, including those who judge and criticize you harshly, not necessarily because they deserve it but because you do. Appreciate the contrast and silently thank them for the many lessons they are teaching you.
A truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively or hurt you.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV
4. Look for the lesson
Believe it or not, everyone you come in contact with has something to teach you. There’s a lesson for you to learn but also to teach. Just like Lao Tzu said it more than 2500 years ago, a good man is a bad man’s teacher and a bad man is a good man’s job.
What is a good man but a bad man’s teacher? What is a bad man but a good man’s job? If you don’t understand this, you will get lost, however intelligent you are. It is the great secret.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Get in the habit of looking for the meaning behind every interaction and every experience life sends your way. Look for the lesson, look for the meaning and be willing to use every interaction and every experience to become a better but not a bitter human being.
5. The world is your mirror
We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
I have come to realize that whenever I lose control over my thoughts and whenever my thinking isn’t that positive and uplifting, that’s when things start to go wrong in my world. And that’s when I encounter people who judge not only those around them but they also judge me.
Like attracts like. If there’s darkness within, there will be darkness without. The world is our mirror, it reflects back what’s already within us. If the people that come your way are filled with negativity and toxicity and if you feel that you have many interactions of this kind, you might want to start purifying your thoughts and cleansing your own inner world. Because if you make the inner world pure, the outside world will be pure as well and so will be all of your interactions.
6. Adopt an attitude of gratitude
I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.” ~ Khalil Gibran
Get into the habit of expressing your gratitude and appreciation for every interaction and every experience life sends you way, no matter if good or bad. Use them all to enrich your life and who you are, to grow, to expand and to become the beautiful and wonderful being you were born to be.
7. Focus your energy and attention upon those who love and appreciate you
We live in a world full of people and no matter how kind and loving you are, there will always be someone who will have a problem with you simply because they have a problem with themselves. Don’t take their behavior personally. Don’t waste your time judging the people who judge you, instead, channel your energy on loving the people who love you. Use your precious time and energy to show your love and appreciation to those who love and adore you.
When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.” ~ A Course In Miracles
Did it ever happen to start judging someone simply because they were judging you and not like them simply because they didn’t seem to like you? And how do you deal with judgment and criticism? I really want to know what are your thoughts on this. You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below.
https://www.purposefairy.com/69430/7-clever-ways-to-deal-with-highly-judgmental-people/
Namaste, The Queen Cronista

Diva Musing: Current Mood…

IMG_3157
Just for Shits and Giggles
OK, so I’m on a salty diva rampage today.  Some moron parked so close to my vehicle I couldn’t get in.  I waited awhile and got all schpilkes, so I had to crawl from the back of my SUV to the drives seat.  Then I had to decide weather I should wait and attack the manner-less troll or leave and key the car before I drove off.  Since I didn’t have bail money I went on.
Ever have one of those days where you wake up all cheery and swear to the Universe you will be a better version of yourself today and boom, something like this happens right out of the shoot? I hate when that happens.  I was once told to cancel my evil thoughts by saying cancel or escape and then think of a positive thought.  Who the hell came up with that one?  I need to vent a little to get rid of my disdain for “stupid people”!  Only then can I resolve within myself by meditating and breathing.  
I always encourage the peaceful way through most things.  However, since…”you can’t fix stupid with duct tape” (don’t know who said it; but I love them) sometime you just have to pitch a hissy fit.  Do you find these days it’s happening more and more or is it just me? 
Anyway, I feel an occasional venting, for a legitimate reason,…”stupidity” is good for the soul. Have your hissy fit, my darlings, and move on.  Don’t guilt yourself …it was someone else’s stupidity, after all that triggered it all.  Go have a quiet moment or even better a hot fudge sundae and bask in the glory of setting a  boundary and the treat you most certainly earned.  Namaste, The Queen Cronista

 

Diva Rambling: Many Moods of a Day….

Is It Just Me!

I was sitting in my morning watering hole (Donut Shop) this morning and laughing at all of the people in work out clothes coming in for breakfast sandwiches and donuts.  We work off 200 calories only to comfort food ourselves for 1500 calories at breakfast.  I even got caught by my personal trainer the other day.  However, I promised the breakfast sandwich and smoothie were my big meal of the day.  No guilt here.  

Meanwhile I go workout with him at 3 pm and I can feel every calorie…even though I haven’t eaten since breakfast.  I’m sweating like fat Elvis on the rowing machine and he’s telling me just how good I’m doing!!!!!!!!! 

There are so many people I truly like that I find myself having to restrain myself from slapping; just for general reference.  The church lady who always tells me she loves me, then gets out and trashes me behind my back.  The teenagers at school who think because I’m 69 years old they can pull my leg.  HA!!!! I’d been in more trouble by age 15 than they can guess.  That’s because in our day we had imaginations and could think.  Some of these kids can’t think past their Xbox or cell phone.  When you screw with the Queen …Its “Off with your proverbial head”!

The helicopter mom who won’t let her 15 year old baby boy do PE because he has allergies.  Or the 15 year old girl who doesn’t know a convection oven from a microwave; oh did I mention she wants to be a brain surgeon! Seriously, can it get any worse? 

OK and then we have the nutters in the parking lots who want you dead.  They come flying down the wrong way in a one way isle. You are at the end of that aisle with nowhere to go… and they get irate because you, who are going the right way, can’t back down the entire aisle to let them go.  That’s when I pull out whatever book I have in the car, put it in park, and let them yell, scream, gesture and honk until the cows come home.  I literally had to sit 35 minutes the other day with one of these jerks.  She only had to back up 2 car lengths to let the rest of us pass.  I won, won, won!!! And I got some reading done. I wasn’t trying to be a butt hole, I literally had nowhere to go.  

I tell the younger women around me that being almost 70 had it’s perks.  You don’t have to care what you look like…although it is  my heartfelt belief that one should look Queenly at all times, even the gym. You don’t have to give a shift what others think, and you set appropriate boundaries, and woe to the idiot who crosses them.  It’s lovely really.

I love being my age.  It’s so comfortable.  Even if no one wants the wisdom you can pass along you don’t give a rats ass.  However, you are there for anyone who needs wisdom and help at any age.  Best of all worlds.  Stay with us, we love your visits and we will pontificate on until we can’t.  We love our followers, each one, for what you bring to the game. I read those of you blogging often. We, however, will remain the same salty divas we are and hope you visit us often in spite of our sarcasm and salty humor.  

Love and Light. Namaste, The Queen Cronista

Diva Musing: Being from The South…

Being from the South we ten to use sayings that the rest of the world must ponder.  I’m attempting to translate some of those “isms”.  Here are Something a Southern Mom Might Say…

Southern mamas don’t mess around when it comes to manners. From birth, our mothers have been telling us how to act with some of the most colorful phrases ever uttered.

Who has been told that we weren’t raised in a barn? Or not to look a gift horse in the mouth?

The answer is every single one of us. And not just by our own mothers. Mamas we’ve never met before have used these mom-isms on us. Because there ain’t no off-switch on being a mama.

When it comes to the South, manners are taught from birth.

That’s why there are so many Southern phrases about being polite and minding your manners, most of which we can still hear our mamas saying in that tone of all-knowing authority. After all, were you even raised in the South if your mama didn’t yell “were you raised in a barn?” at least once every weekend?

With that in mind, we thought we’d take a look at some of the phrases Southern mamas live by when it comes to manners.

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.

Meaning: Don’t assume something is going to happen before it does.

An empty wagon makes a lot of noise.

Meaning: people who don’t know what they’re talking abut tend to say the most.

Mind your P’sand Q’s

Meaning be on our best behavior

Buzzards and chickens come home to roost.

Meaning: What you do and say will catch up to you.

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.

Meaning: Don’t assume something’s going to happen before it does.

You’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Meaning: You get better results when you are polite.

Don’t get too big for your britches.

Meaning: Don’t be conceited.

Pretty is as pretty does.

Meaning: How you treat people is more important than how you look

Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

Meaning: Don t’ question the value of a gift.

Hold your Horses.

Meaning: Be Patient.

Were you raised in a barn?

Meaning: Close the door behind you.

Don’t let our mouth overload your tail.

Meaning: Don’t say anything you can’t back up.

Be like the old lady who fell out of the wagon.

Meaning: Mind your own business.

Don’t sit there like a bump on a log

Meaning: Don just sit there not doing anything.

Diva Rambling: Kindness…

“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” Scott Adams

Once again we throw the stone into the middle of a pond and watch the ripples flow until they stop sometime in the near future.  If each person would do this all day long the ripples would become unceasing.  So it is with acts of kindness; The good energy of the act itself puts out a wonderful vibration into the world that ripples until it stops.  
If we each took a few moments a day to do random acts of kindness the ripples would be unceasing, the vibration would be on going and the world’s own vibration would show the joyful response. Do your part start now.  Love you, The Queen Cronista!!