Earl Nightingale’s 12 Rules…
You have probably guessed by now the Crones are into energy and vibration big time. There are so many motivational speakers out there today. When I was young my father taught classes by Dale Carnegie who wrote “How To Win Friends And Influence People.” The current list of motivational gurus is enormous and so many are pedantic and repetitive of the others. However, my Diva favorite is Earl Nightingale. I opine him as the father of it all. I buy books from his publishing company all the time. I’m a fan of NLP and can find lots there to read. So I thought this rainy day in the mountains I’d motivate you with a little of Earl Nightingale’s tips on life…I believe this is a truly beneficial list. You are thinking: “It can’t be this simple?” It can; don’t knock it till you’ve tried it! P.S. number nine is my favorite!!!
Namaste, The Queen Cronista
Here is a list of twelve rules Earl gives us…
1. It is our attitude in the beginning of a task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.
Attitude is everything. A bit of self-awareness helps one to recognize the moments in which their attitude did not match the desired outcome.
Way I see it, you can either adopt a positive attitude (you will get what you want, you will accomplish a certain task, you will reach your goal) or a negative one (you will fail, all you think about is your fear of failing and the negative consequences of that).
2. It is our attitude towards life which determines life’s attitude towards us.
Life acts like a mirror. It shows us who we are, what our deepest fears are, what we hate, what we desire, what we expect to happen. It’s not magic, but it could well be.
Ever been in a bad mood? Ever noticed how that affected the way people reacted to you? Ever been in a great mood and noticed the way people treated you then? The difference was determined by your own attitude.
3. We are interdependent. It is impossible to succeed without others. It’s our attitude towards others that will determine their attitude towards us.
No man is an island. Or so they say. And it’s not just the thing that you can accomplish anything, but not everything, but it’s also the fact that most people feel lonely inside themselves, as if others are not as human as they are and couldn’t possibly understand what they’re all about. It’s rather selfish, I think.
4. Before a person can achieve the kind of life he wants, he must become that kind of individual, he must think, act, talk, walk, and conduct himself in all of his affairs as would the person he wishes to become.
This is a tricky one. It sounds obvious, but it is difficult to pull off. In order to get something out of life, you need to pay your dues in advance. That’s how things work. And if you want to get more, you need to become more. Every challenge demands a new you, a better you, someone who has a different mindset and does things differently.
Fake it until you make it, they say. Disrupt the circle. Do something different. Visualize who you want to be and pretend to be that. Learn from those who already are what you aspire to become.
5. The higher you go in any organization of value, the better will be the attitude you’ll find.
There’s this myth that climbing up the social ladder involves being ruthless or knowing the right people or being just lucky. It’s a myth. And, yes, plenty of people find themselves in positions of power by chance, but they seldom stay there.
Jim Rohn put it brilliantly when he said that if someone offers you a million dollars, you’d better become a millionaire fast. That way you can get to keep the money.
Great leaders are trustworthy, honest, and they extend this circle of trust to the far reaches of their influence. That’s why they are loved by so many. They make the helpless feel save, the weak feel strong, and give hope to those who have lost it long ago.
6. Your mind can hold only one thought at a time. And since there’s nothing at all to be gained by being negative, be positive.
Negativity is addictive and contagious. You get to feel a bit better after complaining about your problems or circumstances, but then you need to do it again. A vicious circle.
Negativity is also poison. It inhibits your ability to be creative, to grow, to expand, to become a better you, to attract the right people into your life.
Everything you are first started as a thought. That’s how powerful thoughts are. There’s nothing in our world that didn’t first start out as a thought.
7. The deepest craving of human beings is to be needed, to feel important, to be appreciated. Give it to them, and they’ll return it to you.
Believe it or not, the way you treat people is the way they treat you. That’s true 99.99% of the time. Also, it is important to admire and appreciate others. People don’t do that enough.
If you do that, then you’ll also understand what needs to be done in order to be appreciated by others. What are the qualities that make people admire a fellow human being.
8. Look for the best in new ideas.
It’s easy to discard new ideas as being too risky, or too complicated. It’s easy to be a pessimist and say that it probably won’t work out. But the truth is that you are gutless.
9. Don’t waste valuable time broadcasting personal problems. It probably won’t help you, it cannot help others.
Don’t do it with your friends and family, don’t do it on your blog. People don’t care about your problems, because they are too busy trying to solve their own.
Living in what I like to call a therapy culture, we’ve grown used to tell everyone our problems, for which we receive something that falsely resembles compassion.
It’s okay to have problems, to feel burdened and overwhelmed by them. It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to want to give up.
NO, it’s not. Every problem has a solution, but talking about it over and over again won’t make it go away.
10. Don’t talk about your health, unless it’s good.
Again, don’t complain. Don’t be the guy that never gets invited to parties. You know what I mean by that.
11. Radiate the attitude of well-being, of confidence, of a person who knows where he is going. This will inspire those around you, and you’ll find good things will begin to happen to you.
You want to know the secret of success that eludes most people? That others want to be around people who exude joy, who are confident, energetic, alive, passionate. That is it. It’s not about the money, it’s not about the looks, it’s not about being something you’re not, it’s all about your attitude towards yourself, others, and life itself.
12. Treat everyone you come in contact with as the most important person on earth.
How often do we forget others are human beings, just like ourselves? How often do we fight with others simply because we are in a bad mood? How often do we operate in this auto-pilot, egocentric mood that makes us feel as if everyone is in our way, everyone is dumb and slow and lazy, and we take everything personally?
I found this and needed it. Thought you might also. The work I do causes me to have to judge situations at once. I need little booster shots to keep me going on track…
Ways to Deal With Judgmental People…
Whenever I come in contact with highly judgmental people I do my best to put myself in their shoes and understand why they behave the way they do and why they feel the need to point the finger at those around them.
You see, I really believe that underneath it all we are all good, kind and loving beings but because of the many challenges that life sends our way and because of the many struggles that we all face, some of us become bitter and resentful. When that happens, we begin to project our own pain and suffering in the form of blame, judgment, and criticism onto the world around us.
7 Clever Ways to Deal with Highly Judgmental People
Today I want to share with you 7 clever ways to deal with highly judgmental people in a more positive and loving way.
If someone you know is judging you harshly, know that it is probably because they judge themselves harshly. They speak to you in the same way they speak to themselves. Don’t take it personally. Don’t make their negativity your own. Don’t let their toxic words go to your heart. Don’t poison yourself with things that have little or nothing to do with who you are.
“Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering” ― Miguel Ruiz
2. Look beyond appearances
Learn to look beyond appearances, to really see and hear what their soul, not their ego, wants you to see and hear.
Look beyond appearances, behind the harsh and toxic words, and see if you can find that place within them where love, beauty, and kindness resides. Look for the for the good in people and trust that by doing so you will help bring out the good that lies in them.
When people are feeling down, unhappy, lost and disconnected from themselves and the world around them, that’s when they begin to project their own darkness onto the people they interact with, that’s when they start judging the world around them. It’s when we are unhappy with ourselves that we begin to judge, blame and criticize those around us.
Treat everyone with respect, love, and compassion, including those who judge and criticize you harshly, not necessarily because they deserve it but because you do. Appreciate the contrast and silently thank them for the many lessons they are teaching you.
“A truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively or hurt you.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV
4. Look for the lesson
Believe it or not, everyone you come in contact with has something to teach you. There’s a lesson for you to learn but also to teach. Just like Lao Tzu said it more than 2500 years ago, a good man is a bad man’s teacher and a bad man is a good man’s job.
“What is a good man but a bad man’s teacher? What is a bad man but a good man’s job? If you don’t understand this, you will get lost, however intelligent you are. It is the great secret.” ~ Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
Get in the habit of looking for the meaning behind every interaction and every experience life sends your way. Look for the lesson, look for the meaning and be willing to use every interaction and every experience to become a better but not a bitter human being.
5. The world is your mirror
“We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
I have come to realize that whenever I lose control over my thoughts and whenever my thinking isn’t that positive and uplifting, that’s when things start to go wrong in my world. And that’s when I encounter people who judge not only those around them but they also judge me.
Like attracts like. If there’s darkness within, there will be darkness without. The world is our mirror, it reflects back what’s already within us. If the people that come your way are filled with negativity and toxicity and if you feel that you have many interactions of this kind, you might want to start purifying your thoughts and cleansing your own inner world. Because if you make the inner world pure, the outside world will be pure as well and so will be all of your interactions.
“I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers.” ~ Khalil Gibran
Get into the habit of expressing your gratitude and appreciation for every interaction and every experience life sends you way, no matter if good or bad. Use them all to enrich your life and who you are, to grow, to expand and to become the beautiful and wonderful being you were born to be.
7. Focus your energy and attention upon those who love and appreciate you
We live in a world full of people and no matter how kind and loving you are, there will always be someone who will have a problem with you simply because they have a problem with themselves. Don’t take their behavior personally. Don’t waste your time judging the people who judge you, instead, channel your energy on loving the people who love you. Use your precious time and energy to show your love and appreciation to those who love and adore you.
“When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.” ~ A Course In Miracles
Did it ever happen to start judging someone simply because they were judging you and not like them simply because they didn’t seem to like you? And how do you deal with judgment and criticism? I really want to know what are your thoughts on this. You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below.
Namaste, The Queen Cronista
OK, so I’m on a salty diva rampage today. Some moron parked so close to my vehicle I couldn’t get in. I waited awhile and got all schpilkes, so I had to crawl from the back of my SUV to the drives seat. Then I had to decide weather I should wait and attack the manner-less troll or leave and key the car before I drove off. Since I didn’t have bail money I went on.
Ever have one of those days where you wake up all cheery and swear to the Universe you will be a better version of yourself today and boom, something like this happens right out of the shoot? I hate when that happens. I was once told to cancel my evil thoughts by saying cancel or escape and then think of a positive thought. Who the hell came up with that one? I need to vent a little to get rid of my disdain for “stupid people”! Only then can I resolve within myself by meditating and breathing.
I always encourage the peaceful way through most things. However, since…”you can’t fix stupid with duct tape” (don’t know who said it; but I love them) sometime you just have to pitch a hissy fit. Do you find these days it’s happening more and more or is it just me?
Anyway, I feel an occasional venting, for a legitimate reason,…”stupidity” is good for the soul. Have your hissy fit, my darlings, and move on. Don’t guilt yourself …it was someone else’s stupidity, after all that triggered it all. Go have a quiet moment or even better a hot fudge sundae and bask in the glory of setting a boundary and the treat you most certainly earned. Namaste, The Queen Cronista