Diva Rambling: Diva Brigade….

The Diva Brigade….

I have been so blessed in my lifetime to have had such a diverse group of intelligent, creative, compassionate, loving women in my friendship circle. It didn’t happen until I moved away from my village and traveled the world. Women in my village (and perhaps you see this in your village as well) rarely leave their zip code. They usually only talk about their own families, church events, shopping incessantly, and their own woundettes (illnesses)…and everyone has at least two, including all the whiny men about town. You can’t have morning coffee at the watering hole without hearing the sad tale of a knee or hip replacement or cancer, or surgery of some sort. Not a good way to start the day.

When I got into the real world the universe showed me a different side of life. These angels in my circle all over the world are a delight to be with just because they are themselves. We laugh, we cry, we rush to each others side in trials and illness, and we stay in touch in some way all the time. We are women of the world in all shapes, sizes, colors a nationalities. There is no age limit or fitness judgment. To me all are brilliant and savvy divas. They are a comfort and golden threads to the tapestry of my life. They are the grist to the mill of human awareness.

Loyalty among people in a non-romantic context is a paramount to our existence. Friendship that is invested in the long term relationship has a totally different impact on our life.  There are the superficial acquaintances we may put down when they no longer serve a certain purpose. We move from place to place (or not), we change jobs, take up different interests, and the acquaintance we had with a peripheral person does not last, because we were never that entrenched with their lives anyway.

I think, sometimes we should make a commitment to those rare and sparkling gems of our life. We sparkle because they sparkle in our lives. Is there a right time to say to someone ‘I intend on being your friend for as long as we both shall breathe’? In the absence of any kind of social framework supporting such a declaration, it can seem pretty weird. It may even feel strange or oppressive to a person on the receiving end. Is this simply because it’s not what normally happens or they don’t feel the same about life as we do? It doesn’t matter we should tell those we love everyday they are important to us. Time is short we shouldn’t miss that opportunity ever.

Most women put all of their dedication into a romantic relationships, this can leave one out on a limb. That is all I saw in high school females and, therefore, all of my best friends were male. I could hunt, shoot, dance, sing, work on cars, go to museums or theater with these secure males in my life.

It was hard for young women to spot toxic relationships when they had no others for comparison. It is harder to function socially and emotionally when you don’t have multiple people that you can count on to be in your life for support. Psychology tell us repeatedly we need close human ties to stay healthy both mentally and physically.  

I have known women who did not know that friendship is a remarkably rewarding thing, and who only looked for romance… needing a man to complete them. I was lucky, I always knew that you miss out on a lot, and can feel incredibly alone when not in a romantic relationship.  This often worried my father, LOL!  I always had a model prince charming in mind but he still hasn’t shown up! At the same time, if one makes the romantic relationship the main goal, they seem needy and high maintenance. This puts unwanted pressure on the partner. Most men/humans will not long tolerate this behavior.

So, go tell your favorite divas, friends how much you care about them. Be committed to all of your friends in an existential way that they know you are there for them. I have always referred to my favorite divas as  “The Queens Diva Brigade”. Whether at work, or in my personal life, they are the glue to my collage of life. The Diva Brigade always support and uplift each other and we know everyday, no matter where we are the divas are there for each other. Start your own Diva Brigade or Diva Squad of tough cookies.  Secure friends who can rule their own world and help each other all the time. It brings great meaning to your life.

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Diva Ranting: Bullies-Re-post….

In Your Honor- Re-post

I am having the opportunity to observe the psychological impact of a whole gaggle of women old and young manipulating people.  It is not pretty.  They bully by passive-aggressive manipulation. They make younger peers cowl and feel no self-worth.

They control adults by giggling and sweetly appearing to obey when they are undermining the core ethic of human compassion and existence.  Yet they party on… and watch others get verbally spanked instead of them.

We wonder why our societies of the globe are in such trouble?  “The Kar-Trashians”  “ The Tramp-olinas” of the world are ruling our media, our minds and our well-being. We need to be standing our ground, Divas, use your discernment. Don’t let the manipulators drain your mental bank accounts. Take up for yourselves and those you see them bullying. Stand your ground to those supporting their behaviors.

We are the Divas, Sisters, and Grandmothers that the world depends on for strength and honor in the world. Our integrity will help the generations be strong, but only if we remain strong disciplinarians too. I love each of you for what you bring to the table of life. Your strength, your honor, your creativity and your integrity. Wherever you are on the globe reading this….I thank you for your service to our world. We need you. Namaste, The Queen Cronista

Diva Rambling: Risk Taking….

Risk taking……

Years ago I was moved by my companies about every three years and over 8 states. Over time I moved 26 times in 42 years. I thought I had enough. Yet, lately I’ve been thinking of moving to some foreign land to volunteer in soup kitchens, hospitals, or some place I could make a difference. Away from the maddening crowds of chaos, backstabbing, self righteous liberals who don’t walk their own talk ever. My focus would be on the elderly, the sick, the hungry and the love of my planet and spirit I once had in my life. Giving, for me, is the best way to get. It always come back to me 10 fold. Those who know me are poo pooing my idea. I’m too old, I’m Crazy (gosh if they are just now figuring that out!!!!), I’m not physically fit enough…. An on and on. I’ve always been a pattern watcher, and adventurer, and a risk taker. Why stop now? I found the little ditty below on risk taking that may serve to fill your spiritual coffers for today. Don’t ever let anyone tell you not to do what your heart knows best. Love you my divas, Namaste, The Queen Cronista

Those Who Can’t Take Risks

  • Those who can’t take risks are so often wary of those who can.

  • They criticize them.

  • They try to talk them out of their madness.

  • They find reasons to justify their own safe, ordinary existence.

  • To them, adventures are unnecessary and avoidable.

  • But those who can’t take risks are sadly unable to live to their potential.

  • They stay the same.

  • They become stale.

  • They cover their ears, avert their eyes and try to protect themselves.

  • They swim in the shallow end.

  • They stay in the same bland cubicle, doing the same bland work for years.

  • They struggle to love and receive love.

  • They struggle to forgive and receive forgiveness.

Every successful person has had critical moments when they took significant risks to get the breakthrough that they were after, ignoring those risk averse people who would have held them back if they let them.

Today, I just want to say, please don’t listen to those who can’t take risks. And please, please, please don’t become one.” https://betterlifecoachingblog.com/2018/05/29/those-who-cant-take-risks/

Better Life Coaching Blog /Darren Poke

This personal development blog is written by an experienced Life Coach to equip, encourage and inspire people to take meaningful action and make a positive difference in the worl

Diva Ranting: Quotes & Sarcasm…

 

I see all of these hilarious quotes on Pint-rest and FB and I always tend to let my family’s natural need for respectful sarcasm creep into the mix.  I have to put it in the words of the Queen of the Cosmos.  I’ll be dropping a few of these to purge my need to laugh and poke fun at the same time…..

“You need a little bit of insanity to make great things happen.” Henry Rollins

“You need a lot of insanity & good wine just to make it through the day! I have it in spades…what a great day!” Queen of the Cosmos

Diva Musing: Our Inner World….

I find my self being a little judgy smurf lately.  I’m sick of wining, holier than thou personalities who make me want to puke.  I’m into you being you.  Me being me and a happy acceptance is in there somewhere.  But if you are a wining complaining, over entitled butt hole, then screw this crap…I’m moving to Narnia!  I found this food for thought by a couple of writers that may help us analyze our current state of mind (if you are suffering the same condition as me right now).  It’s a little long but thought provoking.  I like t learn new perspectives each day.  I hope this is good for you too.                     Namaste, The Queen Cronista…

Are You Secretly Judgmental Of Others? Why It’s An Important Clue About Your Inner World

By Katie & Gay Hendricks

Do you notice that you often secretly judge others?

For example, your sister tells you about a new car she bought and you think, She can’t possibly afford that car on her salary. She’s so irresponsible about money. Or your partner leaves his dirty dishes in the sink before heading out to meet his friends and you think, He’s so lazy and sloppy. It drives me bananas. Throughout the day, every day, you find yourself silently criticizing others.

My co-worker at work has gotten scatter-brained… my neighbor is too nosy… my friend is too self-absorbed with posting selfies on social media…

What does this all mean?

Are you surrounded by people who don’t have their act together?

Is society just falling apart?

Or is this a clue about something way deeper and way more fundamental about YOU? How Your Relationship With Others Brings Up The Next Biggest Thing You Need To Learn About Yourself

When we judge others or feel our “buttons being pushed” by the things they say and do, we may actually be projecting our feelings onto others.

We are accusing others of the very things we disown or reject about ourselves.

Here’s how it works…

Let’s say you have a fear of rejection that stems from something far back in childhood. More than likely, you’re unaware of this fear. You haven’t yet acknowledged it. Or you know about it, but reject that it’s an issue. Your subconscious mind is aware of it, though. And that part of your mind will always seek opportunities to work out this old issue. It will lead you into situations where you can bring that fear into your awareness.

In other words, you will enter into relationships with people who will “trigger” that fear or unacknowledged emotion inside you. You will attract a relationship where your partner will withdraw, act cold, make plans with his or her friends instead of with you, have a hobby they love that doesn’t (or can’t) involve you, etc. Instead of causing you to face and accept your fear, their behavior will cause you to be secretly judgmental or critical.

You don’t think, Hmm, I’m feeling afraid that he’s going to abandon me and I’ll be alone again. Instead you think, He never spends time with me, he’s off having fun instead of fixing these things around the house, he’s wasting money playing golf all day when he should be saving money and spending the day with me.

Another example – let’s say that you consider yourself a neat, tidy and financially conservative person. You keep your home and car clean and you never spend more than you make. But deep down, you’re really someone who wishes they could forgo responsibility for a while, kick up their feet and be self-indulgent for a change. However, you don’t want to admit that to yourself. It’s just not something you accept about yourself, for whatever reason. Maybe in childhood you were rejected for being that way.

Your creative mind will actually draw you into situations where you are around people who seem sloppy, irresponsible and flaky. And instead of admitting that you’re a little bit like them, you will find yourself secretly complaining about them.

What Do You Need To Accept About Yourself In Order To Love Yourself?

When you don’t, or can’t, acknowledge your feelings or accept something about yourself, it’s a sign that deep down, you don’t love yourself. And if you don’t love yourself, you’ll never feel completely at peace with yourself and the world around you.

You’ll always find something to complain about, and the people in your life will always seem to be less than perfect, because YOU think you’re less than perfect. Unless you can learn to love yourself, and accept yourself and your feelings, you’ll never be able to be fully loved by anyone else, either.

How This One Breakthrough Can Change Your Whole Life

There was a time in my life many years ago when I so badly wanted love and acceptance, but all I did was criticize my (ex) wife and accuse her of being nit-picky and too sensitive.

I had several other unhappy relationships in my 20s and 30s before I met Katie. I thought women were too critical and too obsessed with talking about feelings. I didn’t fully believe them when they said they loved me or wanted me to be happy. The truth was, I was out of touch with my own feelings. I wasn’t “sensitive” enough to what my mind and heart wanted and needed. Therefore, I projected those unacknowledged aspects of myself onto others. I was secretly judgmental.

It wasn’t until I had a major breakthrough in my life where I finally learned how to love myself that all that changed. I met and fell in love with Katie, lost 100 pounds and exploded my career.I had discovered something transformational. That’s why everything that Katie and I teach is rooted in the fundamental concept of loving yourself first.

You’ll learn:

  • The surefire way to know if you’re subconsciously perpetuating a pattern in your relationship – and what to do to dismantle it for good
  • How to feel completely appreciated for all that you are (your relationship will become a constant source of rejuvenation and inspiration)
  • The two big yet often hidden fears that can cause you to keep experiencing pain in relationships
  • The real reason you feel run-down and overextended in life and love – and how 10 minutes a week can help you feel recharged and in love again
  • How to share even the trickiest feelings in a way that won’t make your partner defensive – instead, they’ll want to listen more deeply to you

Learning to love yourself in a relationship is seeing that you will create the very situations you need that allow you to experience the parts of yourself you cannot love.

When you do that, you stop seeing the “wrong” in others. You stop being triggered all the time and you become a less judgmental person. When you love all of yourself, as if by magic, you will find yourself being completely loved by others.

https://www.heartsintrueharmony.com/self-love/a-big-clue-that-you-dont-love-yourself.html?s=15273

Diva Ranting: No, It Is NOT You…

There is the famous quote: “There is none so blind as she/he who will not see…”  If you know someone like this you know a narcissist.  They are one of the most malignant forces on our planet.  They are the cause of mental abuse and violence against others universally.  This article was inspired by a blog I recently received from a friend, and I give it to you to  console, lighten, and uplift hearts that are subjugated to one or more of these people.  They hide in our schools, churches, in our families and especially in our political realms globally.  Do not beat yourself up is you are dealing with this.  Love yourself enough to gather the strength to rid yourself of them in your life.  I call them “psychic sponges” because their dominance, drama or whatever they hide it under is serious and malignant to you.  I share this because I have a friend going through this now and they deserve better, as do you.  

Namaste, The Queen Cronista

Narcissistic Abuse and Anxiety Disorders…General Review…

In this chaotic world anxiety disorders now show roots back in the earliest of human existence. Humans need it to survive in the volatile world in which they live. Anxiety is considered an inexplicable feeling of unease, nervousness and worry. It is true that we have evolved past the mores of our ancestors. So, what makes it happen in our modern world?

Some say it connects and is due to psychological and emotional abuse during ones childhood.. It has been found that early-life stress has a profound effect on the CNS (central nervous system) and that it reoccurs in adults in later life.

All venues agree that abuse, on any level at a young age, leaves deep psychological scars on the victims mental health. It may cause PTSD, anxiety, super-sensitivity and stress in the neuro stress response systems. These abuses may result in a distinct possibility of serious disorders such as anxiety and major depression occurrences.

Some studies suggest that narcissistic abuse is one of the most harmful types of psychological abuse that exists. It tends to leave the victim unable to think and reason clearly. These increased stressors eventually leads to adrenal fatigue. The ultimate outcome for some will be anxiety disorders, major depression and often both. This will increase the susceptibility to the narcissistic abuser and ones own inability to escape it.

Often the abused and the abuser feed off of each others enabling behaviors and the victim never realizes it. These malignant narcissists victims are the ones who are loving, gentle, empathetic humans who choose to see only the good in others including the abusive narcissist. This, then, makes the victim a good and willing target for the narcissists malignant, manipulative behaviors. The victim becomes nothing more than prey caught in a vat of narcissistic goo. Malignant narcissist love to pull the victim into the darkness with them and hold them there indefinitely.

Narcissists will leach every last drop of resistant from their prey and reduce them to feeling small and more dependent on these perpetrators. It’s like the old movie “Gas Light” they work on the victims brain and make them think they are loosing their minds. When confronted these malignant personalities will always turn the table back on the victim further lowering their self esteem. Thus they reinforce the old cliché …”A lie told a thousand times becomes truth”…This strategy of the malignanteventually leads to the victims to social avoidance, feelings of total disassociation, fatigue and complete physical and mental disability.

Sadly victims do not understand that the malignant narcissist has intentionally left them unable to fight, trapped in a vicious cycle of abuse they cannot extricate themselves from nor any longer deal with society.

Much of the research agrees that this type of abuse is far worse than even physical abuse. It leaves the abused victims unable to deal with life or to even recognize why. If you know such victims, encourage them to seek help from a mental health therapist. Let them know you see it and it is NOT their fault.

If you are a victim of such abuse KNOW that you are NOT at fault. You never have been. If you keep seeking the light of compassion and empathy you will eventually rise above. If you need help then get the professional help you deserve. Don’t let the darkness win.

Is it Just Me: Megalomaniacs…

meg·a·lo·ma·ni·ac; meɡələˈmānēˌak/

noun

  1. 1. a person who is obsessed with their own power.

    adjective

  2. 1. exhibiting megalomania.

So, I’m sitting at drive through at a fast food getting some tea (a rare thing for me). Some idiot comes flying down the drive through going the wrong way and almost hits me head on.  I had no where to go!  What’s with that?  I swear I cannot even wast time pondering what kind of megalomaniac does things like this.  Not only risking others lives but their own. I am the wrong Diva to pick on any day.  I’m sure I’ll be shot for taking a stand someday, but at least I take a stand against bullying any day of the week.  

Then there was the numb nuts raging down my one way lane at the super mart parking.  I was almost to the end of the lane with cars on all sides.  He comes racing in about 4 cars in on the wrong side.  I had no where to go.  He only had to back out 3 car lengths, me a whole aisle.  He begins to blow his horn and flip me off.  I smiled, put my car in park and picked up a magazine to read.  He finally had to back up cursing all the way.  I sat there until he was out of the way.  In his all about me world it didn’t dawn on his sorry ass someone would take a stand for their inability to back up. P.S.  He was in a Teeny-Weenie Mobile…so that tells you something. 

In a world gone awry we need to be more thoughtful with each action we take.  If Karma has taught us anything …there is always a price to pay…good, bad, or indifferent for every action we Choose to take.  Think and Love…

Namaste, The Queen Cronista