Diva Ranting: Southern Cuss Phrases…

You may not know how it is with many Southerners. We can get just as incensed as anyone else, but we try to stay polite about it. That’s why our Southern grannies taught us “cuss words” to use, like “I Swan!” and “Land sakes alive!”

Here are a few things you might hear Southerners yell in anger, frustration or in  traffic.  Did I forget any? 

There’s a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ!

Blow your nose you’ll get more out of it! Meaning: I hear you but I don’t really care.

You’re dumb as a box of rocks! Meaning the other driver is really dump.

Welll, don’t rush on my account! Meaning: You are driving too slow.

Sure looks like somebody opened the floodgates. Meaning: Traffic is really heavy.

Son of a biscuit eater! Meaning: Exclamation/Negative name calling.

If leather were brains, you wouldn’t have enough to saddle a Junebug! Meaning: you are really Stupid!

Son of a Motherless Goat! Meaning: Negative slur/insult

What in tarnation? Meaning: What the Heck

What the Sam Hill? Meaning: What the heck are you doing?

You don’t have the sense God gave a goose. Meaning: The other person is stupid.

Move over Papaw! Meaning: You are as slow as grandfather.

Grandma was slow but she was old! Meaning: You are as slow as Grandma.

Land Sakes alive! Meaning: negative exclamation for stupidity.

You don’t know a widget from a hole in the ground. Meaning: Stupid

You are as slow as the seven year itch! Meaning: Annoyingly Slow

Holy Mother of Pearl! Meaning: Negative Exclamation.

Dagnabbit! Meaning: Substitute Cuss Word

You can’t walk and chew chewing gum at the same time. Meaning: other person is uncoordinated.

Dagnabbit if I sent you to lunch I’d have to completely retrain you. Meaning: You’re hopelessly useless.

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Diva Ranting: Holier than Thou…

Guilty even if innocent….

Yours truly was confronted by someone still incensed from something I was supposed to have done in November 2018. I never heard of it and when I was shown what I was supposed to have posted on a the sacred website it was shown to be me but I didn’t do it. Those who have followed The Crones for anytime know we don’t give a horses ass about your stuff. We admit our craziness and faults and we never intend to intentionally offend anyone. But here it was full blown. The person said she was so mad she wanted to slap me. My response if you felt that way you should have, that day, not festered on it for four months before telling me; even if I was guilty until proven innocent in your eyes.

My point in this is, that in this modern world of chaos where it seems more and more people wake up invested in being incensed, we can’t win. If you don’t have the tits up to come and look me in the eye and speak your mind we cannot resolve an issue. With some, so cloaked in their own self righteousness, you will never resolve it like adults. Mother Teresa would say…love them anyway and move on (or words to that effect).

These days we will always have those cloak and dagger folks out there maligning us without our knowing. I don’t care but you may. Anyway, don’t let anyone rain on your parade. If you focus on darkness you get more darkness or even the devil himself. I choose the light of saying oh well, don’t sweat the petty stuff and don’t pet the sweaty stuff LOL!

Don’t get us wrong. We are salty old crones with hearts of gold but as fierce as any warrior on the planet if you take us on. Don’t get me wrong….I love pitching a good “hissy fit” for a good cause. Right is Right!

Soooooooooooooooooooooo…

I’ve decided that since no matter what We do somebody’s going to pick us apart every day. Rather than have to listen to a diatribe of uneducated people’s tripe and bologna, let’s just post our own list. They can check off the ones they want to pick on that day and feel fulfilled.
> We/me and my peeps still won’t give a hoot and everybody’s happy LOL. I’ll start:  

> Please place a check mark next to every insult you want me to feel bad about today…
> She’s fat
> She wears too make up
> She overdresses
> She looks me in the eyes and intimidates me.
> She’s a salty old crone.

> She makes me face things head on; I hate that.

>She’s blunt and says what she thinks; makes me uncomfortable
> She think she’s the Queen of the Cosmos?￰
> She’s an intellectual snob

> She’s mean to mean people right back!!!
> She scares me
> I hate her
Here’s a few for starters… Knock yourselves out LOL… me and my peeps will be doing our yoga and not really caring at all. My personal Facebook posse liked the idea.

Diva Pushing: Buy Tickets Now…

The film is in the can and being edited.  We are so excited to bring you this years Murder Mystery Dinner Theater…..

The entire Show is written, produced, filmed, and Chefed by our cast and crew at Gateway Christian School .  All proceeds go to the Gateway Christian School.  

Buy tickets online at http://www.binghamtown.org; click Gateway School and the icon is in the upper right hand corner. 

MURDER MYSTERY DINNER THEATER

A MURDER AT MAGNOLIA MANOR

WHEN: Saturday, March 30, from 6:00 P.M. to 8:00 P.M. (Save the Date)

WHERE: Magnolia Manor Grand Dining Hall (A/K/A Binghamtown Fellowship Hall/back lower level);

WHAT: Murder Mystery and Dinner for one price. A 4-course dinner with fun and entertainment in the form of a Murder Mystery Theater. Seating is limited so secure your seat and buy your tickets now.

TICKET PRICE: $30.00 Adult Only Pricing

(includes admission and 4 course dinner)

YOU MUST HAVE YOUR TICKET STUB FOR ENTRY AND GREAT DOOR PRIZES

No ONE will be allowed entry without a ticket

Multiple Door Prizes and Grand Prize usually exceed the price of your ticket if you win!!!!!!

Please Call the High School\Judy Suhr for Reservations 714-235-6591

PUTTING THE FUN IN FUN-DRAISER

You can also pay by credit card for tickets at www.binghamtown.org, Click on donations OR Gateway School and the button is in the upper RIGHT hand corner of the page.

Murder Mystery

Dinner Theater

LAST DAY TO BUY TICKETS March 15th, 2019

May be a Clue!

Maybe Not???

Add us on Snapchat at: magnolia.manor

Diva Beaming: Murder at Magnolia Manor, Murder Mystery Dinner Theater…

The film is in the can and being edited.  We are so excited to bring you this years Murder Mystery Dinner Theater…..

The entire Show is written, produced, filmed, and Chefed by our cast and crew at Gateway Christian School .  All proceeds go to the Gateway Christian School.  

Buy tickets at http://www.binghamtown.org; click Gateway School and the icon is in the upper right hand corner.

MURDER MYSTERY DINNER THEATER

A MURDER AT MAGNOLIA MANOR

WHEN: Saturday, March 30, from 6:00 P.M. to 8:00 P.M. (Save the Date)

WHERE: Magnolia Manor Grand Dining Hall (A/K/A Binghamtown Fellowship Hall/back lower level);

WHAT: Murder Mystery and Dinner for one price. A 4-course dinner with fun and entertainment in the form of a Murder Mystery Theater. Seating is limited so secure your seat and buy your tickets now.

TICKET PRICE: $30.00 Adult Only Pricing

(includes admission and 4 course dinner)

YOU MUST HAVE YOUR TICKET STUB FOR ENTRY AND GREAT DOOR PRIZES

No ONE will be allowed entry without a ticket

Multiple Door Prizes and Grand Prize usually exceed the price of your ticket if you win!!!!!!

Please Call the High School\Judy Suhr for Reservations 714-235-6591

PUTTING THE FUN IN FUN-DRAISER

You can also pay by credit card for tickets at www.binghamtown.org, Click on donations OR Gateway School and the button is in the upper RIGHT hand corner of the page.

Murder Mystery

Dinner Theater

LAST DAY TO BUY TICKETS March 15th, 2019

May be a Clue!

Maybe Not???

Add us on Snapchat at: magnolia.manor

Diva Ranting: I Mean What I Said…

Mean What You Said

Here in the South we use words like sweetheart, angel, precious, Sweetie, dear, as terms of endearment. Yet there are those outside our Southern culture who are insulted by this show of human affection.

If it’s someone that I know or I don’t know… well, it’s still a term of endearment and when it comes out of my mouth I mean it. I mean it as a term in endearment, I mean it as a term that you are someone special to me, I mean it as I noticed and acknowledged you. I won’t change that part of my upbringing for anyone. You don’t have to accept our terms of endearment, just as we don’t accept your gift of being incensed over everything, every body does, all the time.

Me and my Southern Divas will keep doing what we’re doing with love and good intention, because our Daddy’s and Mamas raised us right. You keep doing what your doing because you want to be that way. Me and my posse will keep giving the love.

Disclaimer: If you hear a Southern Woman say…”Bless your little heart!” as a punctuation to a disagreement…run for the hills. She is ready to rip out your heart and bake it in a pie!

Diva Beaming: Murder At Magnolia Manor,Murder Mystery Dinner Theater…

We filmed our ballroom scene on the 9th and all of our students in the cast and crew learned to waltz for the filming. They were brilliant, talented, and very cooperative.  I am so pleased with their efforts this year.  On the 16 we filmed the rest of the scenes.  They are working so hard to bring our ticket buyers the best show possible. 

The entire Show is written, produced, filmed, and Chefed by our cast and crew at Gateway Christian School .  All proceeds go to the Gateway Christian School.  

MURDER MYSTERY DINNER THEATER

A MURDER AT MAGNOLIA MANOR

WHEN: Saturday, March 30, from 6:00 P.M. to 8:00 P.M. (Save the Date)

WHERE: Magnolia Manor Grand Dining Hall (A/K/A Binghamtown Fellowship Hall/back lower level);

WHAT: Murder Mystery and Dinner for one price. A 4-course dinner with fun and entertainment in the form of a Murder Mystery Theater. Seating is limited so secure your seat and buy your tickets now.

TICKET PRICE: $30.00 Adult Only Pricing

(includes admission and 4 course dinner)

YOU MUST HAVE YOUR TICKET STUB FOR ENTRY AND GREAT DOOR PRIZES

No ONE will be allowed entry without a ticket

Multiple Door Prizes and Grand Prize usually exceed the price of your ticket if you win!!!!!!

Please Call the High School\Judy Suhr for Reservations 714-235-6591

PUTTING THE FUN IN FUN-DRAISER

You can also pay by credit card for tickets at www.binghamtown.org, Click on donations OR Gateway School and the button is in the upper RIGHT hand corner of the page.

Murder Mystery

Dinner Theater

LAST DAY TO BUY TICKETS March 15th, 2019

May be a Clue!

Maybe Not???

Add us on Snapchat at: magnolia.manor

Diva Ranting: Boundaries…

The Crone on setting Boundaries…

The great thing about old age as you learn to set boundaries. Recently I’ve discovered that we have to set them up with everyone. Several of mine are in business. I need a boss who is courteous enough to give me proper time to get the 50 things they demand, done in real time.

I don’t know about you but we need to encourage the young to set proper boundaries early in life. Something we weren’t given permission to do. I’m not saying give them a license to be rude, disrespectful or crass. I suggest we teach them their right to properly prioritize and stick to a plan. They are not subject to running around willy nilly every time an adult gets a bur under their saddle to disrupt those priorities. Learn to ask authority figures to do that and be courteous enough to discuss when and if they need you to change those priorities. Some bosses and adults are just royal pains in the assets of those organized souls who try to keep the chaos out of our time space continuum.

You can set boundaries without being a prat. You can stand up for them without being rude. It’s ok to have boundaries at every age. Learn to set them and stick to them. Your soul will thank you.

Namaste, the Queen Cronista