Diva Rambling:Regaining Our Joy……

Regaining Our Joy

1. Ask for Help
When I was in my late forties I fell and had to have a metal plate placed in my right ankle. It was the first time I’d ever been debilitated and needed help. I had the six hour surgery on Friday and went to work on Monday. However, trying to drive with a cast on my right leg, going to the grocery store, shopping in a superstore… where people will knock you down on crutches rather than look at you, became unwelcome challenges. For those of us who want the world to think we are indestructible…“I’m fine,”… is the most used lie of them all.
My point is this….losing all hope can be so frustrating and even debilitating for some of us. When we believe we can travel through life alone, it can feel like the end of the road. But, when we learn we can lean on others for help, things do get a little bit easier.
Because of our own ego, it’s often hard to see the true picture. Others may be able to bring new dimension to our situations that we might not have seen before.
We often achieve our goals/dreams through one or two approaches: innovation or distress . Either way we are inspired by events or others to keep going, or we are so desperate and in serious need, that we keep pushing no matter what.
2. Don’t Lie to Yourself
We often take the stresses of life way too personally. Trying to place our emotions and dreams away from a situation that we put all of our heart and soul into, is nearly impossible for some of us.
It often feels as if the Universe is against us, and we cannot understand why. We forget that we are in charge of how we choose to handle all situations. Getting a hold on our emotions and making solid choices is one of the trickiest thing to do.
We may be tempted to put the blame elsewhere. We may be attempt to give undue credit to situations, or karma. Avoid this temptation. Lying to yourself is also lying to the Universe, who absolutely knows better. Be objective. Don’t lie to yourself about a situation. If form follows thought, then it stands to reason that these occurrences are a result of some of our past “stinkin thinkin”. It’s all about the genie in the bottle granting us our every thought. Try to recall the causes and effects of your own thoughts and behaviors. Take responsibility. Correct your thoughts in order to reach your desired goals.
3. Re-frame Your Outcome
If you are in a major dark night of the soul, that you believe is an indication of a failure in life, then it’s time to re-frame the situation. Thomas Edison failed to create electricity over seventeen hundred times. When asked if he was frustrated with his failures he replied something like…”No, I have successfully discovered over seventeen hundred ways that electricity does not work”… Talk about skillful re-framing of a thing!
You can have everything you want in life as long as you do not give up. One year my father framed a picture (I think everyone has seen it) of a stork trying to swallow a frog. The frog has its hands around the storks throat and is holding on tight. The bulging eyed stork can do nothing. The caption read…”Never, Never, Never, give up!”. That was Dad.
The point being do not lose faith, do not lose heart, do not loose focus of clear thoughts of success. We must keep going. Tell ourselves that all things are impermanent. Even our pain and suffering. Find a reason to smile. We need to keep the knowing that it’s all going to get better.
This suffering we are going through will be a distant memory we can discard as part of a lesson learned. When we understand this it makes us stronger, wiser, more courageous beings.
Truthfully I am one of those who believes it is about the journey. It is not about the destination only the positive outcome. Keep re-framing your goals. Determine just what you want out of life. Keep asking ourselves why we want it; do we still want it? If we agree our desire is strong enough, then we won’t let challenges stop us. We will keep going.
4. Be Grateful
I say this so much that I know this might sound cheesy or way too ethereal. However, you been around the crones long enough to know that there is something to be said about appreciating what we have and not focusing on what we don’t have. Keep the Focus on gratitude! Trust me, you will watch your life transforms in ways you can not even imagine.
Instead of telling the genie in the bottle you want of scarcity (thoughts created without focus or discipline), thoughts about what you don’t have, always worrying that you’ll never have it, what else can the genie in the bottle do but grant you these wishes/thoughts. Your wish is my command!!! the genie will say.
Instead lets focus on the things that you are grateful for in the world around us. The wise Yoda in Star War movies would say…” Do or do not; there is no TRY!” We can be joyful and grateful for so many things….like…you woke up healthy this morning, or that you and your family have food on your plate, a place to sleep, and people who love you. You have a pet or friend who let’s you know everyday that you are important in their lives. Your family is healthy, your partner is proud of you or just that the all knowing Universe is creating a grand life for you if you stay focused on the right thoughts and not interfere with negative thoughts.
An attitude of gratitude is a habit. It is one of those habits that must be constantly cultivated over time. See the good in the world around you and in yourself. It is quite amazing how more good things will come into your life.
It’s not some magic formula. It’s just the form follows thought attitude that makes others gravitate to you. I believe that being grateful is one of the most effective ways to let go of life’s stress, hostility, unforgiveness, turn fear to courage, or envy to happiness for others.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it is easier said than done! A balanced life can be restored over time. Nothing worthwhile is ever lost even when we are in the deepest valley of our darkest night of the soul. We were put here to be happy and thrive at all cost. I’ve come to use this term a lot over the years…” Six months from now this will seem trivial”… and then I start letting go in the now. It takes focus, practice, courage, commitment and determination. But it is all there for each of us if we only choose to take it. Time is finite and flowing….we each only have 24 hours each day. Then the sunrises again; choose wisely. Namaste, The Queen Cronista
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Diva Musing: Regaining Our Joy….

Regaining Our Joy
1. Ask for Help
When I was in my late forties I fell and had to have a metal plate placed in my right ankle. It was the first time I’d ever been debilitated and needed help. I had the six hour surgery on Friday and went to work on Monday. However, trying to drive with a cast on my right leg, going to the grocery store, shopping in a superstore… where people will knock you down on crutches rather than look at you, became unwelcome challenges. For those of us who want the world to think we are indestructible…“I’m fine,”… is the most used lie of them all.  I know I used it a lot before I got sensible.
My point is this….losing all joy can be so frustrating and even debilitating for some of us. When we believe we can travel through life alone, it can feel like the end of the road. But, when we learn we can lean on others for help, things do get a little bit easier.
Because of our own ego, it’s often hard to see the true picture. Others may be able to bring new dimension to our situations that we might not have seen before. We often achieve our goals/dreams through one or two approaches: innovation or distress . Either way we are inspired by events or others to keep going, or we are so desperate and in serious need, that we keep pushing no matter what.
2. Don’t Lie to Yourself 
We often take the stresses of live way too personally. Trying to place our emotions and dreams away from a situation that we put all of our heart and soul into, is nearly impossible for some of us. It often feels as if the Universe is against us, and we cannot understand why. We forget that we are in charge of how we choose to handle all situations. Getting a hold on our emotions and making solid choices is one of the trickiest thing to do.
We may be tempted to put the blame elsewhere. We may be attempt to give undue credit to situations, or karma. Avoid this temptation. Lying to yourself is also lying to the Universe, who absolutely knows better. Be objective. Don’t like to yourself about a situation. If form follows thought, then it stands to reason that these occurrences are a result of some of our past “stinkin thinkin”. It’s all about the genie in the bottle granting us our every thought. Try to recall the causes and effects of your own thoughts and behaviors. Take responsibility. Correct your thoughts in order to reach your desired goals.
3. Re-frame Your Outcome
If you are in a major dark night of the soul, that you believe is an indication of a failure in life, then it’s time to re-frame the situation. Thomas Edison failed to create electricity over seventeen hundred times. When asked if he was frustrated with his failures he replied something like…”No, I have successfully discovered over seventeen hundred ways that electricity does not work”… Talk about skillful re-framing of a thing!
You can have everything you want in life as long as you do not give up. One year my father framed a picture (I think everyone has seen it) of a stork trying to swallow a frog. The frog has its hands around the storks throat and is holding on tight. The bulging eyed stork can do nothing. The caption read…”Never, Never, Never, give up!”. That was Dad.
The point being do not lose faith, do not lose heart, do not loose focus of clear thoughts of success. We must keep going. Tell ourselves that all things are impermanent. Even our pain and suffering. Find a reason to smile. We need to keep the knowing that it’s all going to get better.
This suffering we are going through will be a distant memory we can discard as part of a lesson learned. When we understand this it makes us stronger, wiser, more courageous beings.
Truthfully I am one of those who believes it is about the journey. It is not about the destination only the positive outcome. Keep re-framing your goals. Determine just what you want out of life. Keep asking ourselves why we want it; do we still want it? If we agree our desire is strong enough, then we won’t let challenges stop us. We will keep going.
4. Be Grateful
I say this so much, that I know this might sound cheesy or way too ethereal. However, you’ve been around the crones long enough to know that there is something to be said about appreciating what we have and not focusing on what we don’t have. Keep the Focus on gratitude! Trust me, you will watch your life transforms in ways you can not even imagine.
Instead of telling the genie in the bottle you want of scarcity (thoughts created without focus or discipline), thoughts about what you don’t have, always worrying that you’ll never have it, what else can the genie in the bottle do but grant you these wishes/thoughts. Your wish is my command!!! the genie will say.
Instead lets focus on the things that you are grateful for in the world around us. The wise Yoda in Star War movies would say…” Do or do not; there is no TRY!” We can be joyful and grateful for so many things….like…you woke up healthy this morning, or that you and your family have food on your plate, a place to sleep, and people who love you. You have a pet or friend who let’s you know everyday that you are important in their lives. Your family is healthy, your partner is proud of you or just that the all knowing Universe is creating a grand life for you if you stay focused on the right thoughts and not interfere with negative thoughts.
An attitude of gratitude is a habit. It is one of those habits that must be constantly cultivated over time. See the good in the world around you and in yourself. It is quite amazing how more good things will come into your life.
It’s not some magic formula. It’s just the form follows thought attitude that makes others gravitate to you. I believe that being grateful is one of the most effective ways to let go of life’s stress, hostility, unforgiveness, turn fear to courage, or envy to happiness for others.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it is easier said than done! A balanced life can be restored over time. Nothing worthwhile is ever lost even when we are in the deepest valley of our darkest night of the soul. We were put here to be happy and thrive at all cost. I’ve come to use this term a lot over the years…” Six months from now this will seem trivial”… and then I start letting go in the now. It takes focus, practice, courage, commitment and determination. But is there for each of us if we only choose to take it. Time is finite and flowing….we each only have 24 hours each day. Then the sunrises again. Namaste, The Queen Cronista

Diva Rambling: Where Did My Joy GO…!

Where did Joy go?
“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.” –Vincent van Gogh

Has there been a time in our life when we’ve lost all hope? The Universe built us so that something so essential to us humans as hope is an endless fount. It is renewed again and again by the all knowing source of the Universe.

For may of us it happens so quickly. Our whole world seems to crash around us. Sometimes if feels like we are watching a really bad “B” movie over which we have no control of the outcome. In a bad movie the hero may loose a business, a love, all money or family, or simply everything. You suddenly feel like Job in the Bible Story.

When you have lost hope, you feel as if you have lost everything. You begin to believe all is lost, when all is most dark and dreary, there is always the knowing the Universe will provide, if you only turn on the light to your joy and gratitude.

Sometimes, we even get to the point where we cannot keep going on with life. We feel like we are walking through an endless arctic tundra. We often feel as if all the air has been sucked out of the world. We keep wading in the swamp of insanity and keep praying for land and sun once more.

It is when we spend our time worrying and stressing about the unknown, and the perceived end result of a problem, that we destroy our futures. These thought processes destroy the perfect plan the Universe has for you. I know I beat it to death, but “form follows thought”. Don’t have the genie in the bottle grant your every thought unless they are the positive, well chosen thoughts of a disciplined mind of gratitude and joy.

The Universe will throw up road blocks occasionally. This may be due to “stinkin thinkin”, bad Karma, or a lesson the Universe needs us to learn right now. It is always our choice to choose how we respond. ALWAYS!!!! These road blocks are not a sign of failure only life challenges. They happen to everyone.

Some hints that may help along the way to get life back on track…..

Visit tomorrow for tips along the way…Namaste the Queen Cronista….

Diva Remembering: Thanksgivings Past…

Thanksgivings Past; New Jersey

The first the first time I met my little mother-in-law was thanksgiving in my 20’s. We arrived late from Kentucky after a 13 hour drive. She open the door and looked at me and said to her son…”She’s beautiful and look she’s wearing shoes!!!” LOL, I didn’t think we would ever get along, but she ended up being one of my dearest friends her whole life. She was a phi beta kappa and very progressive for a woman who was in her mid seventies when I met her.

However, the dear woman couldn’t cook. My first Thanksgiving at her home consisted of what I called Beef Jerky Turkey, Birdseye baby onions from a bag, pees and carrots from a bag, and stove top stuffing that only had water added. I was in tears. No memories about the dinner only the good company.

The next year I begged her to let me give her a treat, and let me fix Thanksgiving Southern style. I took her shopping and bought the ingredients. The cart was full, she said it looked like I had bought enough to feed a battalion. She almost had a stroke when I told her I cooked the turkey tented all night to keep it moist.

I made home made dressing, green bean casserole, homemade garlic mash potatoes, homemade cranberry sauce, pecan pies and pound cake with caramel sauce. My father-in-law was in heaven. At the end of the meal he said to her he felt it was only fair that I be allowed to cook a Southern Thanksgiving Dinner whenever I visited on the holiday so I could be at home. He looked at me and winked with a big smile on his face. And so that tradition began….A Southern Thanksgiving in New Jersey.

Diva Rambling: Walk Your Talk…

Walk Your Talk….
We now live in a world where people wake up waiting to be incensed about anything and everything. However, I still believe we can make a difference by walking our personal talk. Not evangelizing some point or other but just being a discerning human being. You can speak your truth by showing simple, positive acts of energy everywhere you go. There are things you can do everyday to inspire others.
For Example:
Keep your carbon footprint at a minimum
Be Greener support local farmers and green grocers when you can
Be the one who rides a bike or walks to your workplace
Be the one who uses a minimum of electricity
Be the one who adopts a pet
Be the one who uses more solar power when possible
Be the one who stands ground for those bullied and without power
Be the one who works from home if possible
Be the one who will only work in an ethical workplace
Be the one who maintains a financial safety net so you can afford to take a standing
Be the one who takes the risks
Be the one who brings your gifts to everything you do
Be the one who inspires and uplifts all those around you
We can give the best of ourselves each day and find ways to apply that to home, work and community. Much of the paid work we do is not conventionally thought of as corporate, or creative, in the same way that music, fiction and art are. However, should use our gifts all the time. You will find them pertinent to so many situations. We also find that the more we do this, the better we feel about ourselves and the contributions we make to our Universe.
The desire to be seen as a respected professional can have us sacrificing our freedom for the sake of success. To paraphrase Ben Franklin…”those who would sacrifice freedom for money or power, do not deserve either…”
You write what the publisher’s accountant likes the look of. Sometimes, we think, the price of fame and success is performing on other people’s terms. NOT!!!!! How we are in our world does not have to be defined by the position we are in, all things can be made better if you choose to find even the smallest ways of bringing our gifts to the job…any job.
However, if your desire is to just be creative, you can take that into any kind of profession and find a way to apply it as well. I can attest to this since I have worked on everything from soup to copy-work. Don’t just think outside the box….ignore the box and always smile while you are doing it…you can get away with so much more..LOL! Namaste, The Queen Cronista….

Diva Rambling: Flow!

TGIF… Flow!

Its Friday, its a magnificent fall day and I can’t grab my ass with both hands! Ever have one of those weeks? We’ve had an unprecedented amount of rain in the mountains this summer and fall that the leaves haven’t really started changing yet. The cold weather has been late in coming. I love cooler weather and the smells of fall. The “cold ones” as I call them are already in sweaters while I’m still sporting lightweight clothing. I was one of those wierdy beardies who didn’t own a winter coat until I was 37 years old, and moved to New Jersey! I’m a bit more compatible with nature in some instances than others.

I must admit, thought, as nature begins to hibernate so do I. I am terribly impacted by the darkness of winter months. I feel so much empathy for those who suffer from depression when this happens. However, There is no right way to react to the change of seasons. How we handle the change of seasons or life is still up to us. We can feel the gloom within but still let our brilliant light shine. Shine our light to heal those who need healing in every season. We feel better, they feel better and its a win-win for all of us.

In short we start with what the Universe has given us, listen to our body telling us what we need, go with the flow of nature current path. If we learn to seek this balance we will not feel out of sorts with changes in season or life. Don’t make mountains out of mole hills. If nature wants that to happen she will do it herself. Flooooooooooow! Namaste, The Queen Cronista…

Diva Rambling: THE SUCCESS PERSPECTIVE..

THE SUCCESS PERSPECTIVE

S-U-C-C-E-S-S- that’s the way you spell success! This was an old cheer we use to use in high school. Hopefully, as we grow in wisdom, we realize that the meaning of success changes significantly with our experiences and mindset (“form follows thought”). I know I pound this concoct into the ground but it’s for real!

I use to post a large flip chart over my children’s beds and make the write their goals. Each night they had to say their prayers and read me their goals. We’d change them as needs must. Today my son still carries a small notebook with him and does the same thing. He has manifest everything on each updated goal list usually within two years (for larger goals), from wonderful wife and family, to career success. My daughter is an Emmy award winning TV host and has done the same. I just watched a segment where she guested on Home and Family Channel and you can see she loves her job.

My point is this….they are both doing what they love and so they never feel like they are working. You can do the same. We all need to re-evaluate how we look at success as we grow and expand our minds.

We peruse everything from money to hard bodies; it’s all ok. However, when was the last time you evaluated what is truly important measure of success where you are right now? We must be in a constant change of accepting shift in all areas of our life…”Shift Happens”, whether we like it or not.

If you are not adjusting your map (goals) to accommodate the shifts in your life then you may take a wrong turn and end up in someone else’s destination…(success/ goals). Having to retrace steps wastes life force, time and spirit. These are thing from which recovery is very hard.

We can measure success by process of elimination. See what doesn’t work and move on quickly. Evaluate your future more carefully. The old quote from Thomas Edison serves well here when asked how he felt by failing to create electricity over 1700 times. I paraphrase his response…” I have NOT failed over 1700 times. I have successfully proven over 1700 ways NOT to create electricity!”… Again, perspective, always our choice.

Don’t let social media dictate your personal growth goals, and don’t’ hold a vice grip philosophy definition of success. It us NOT just about wealth, owning or running a fortune 500 company or gathering a social media following of sycophants.

Always let your dreams/goals match your intrinsic values. Many people we consider successful are merely burned out versions of their former selves. Rich maybe, happy probably not if their intrinsic values have been left behind.

Everyone around you may have a plan of what you should be…THEY DON’T GET TO VOTE! Never let anyone force their version of your future on you. That is why I admire my “Misanthropes” so much. They don’t let anyone push them around. They fix on their goals and head for them without fear…all the while remaining flexible.

Whatever Success means to you right now, do not let it be the only road you are willing to take. Be flexible, adjust your dreams/goals regularly. If you can do this your whole life, you’ll find your are not as disappointed as the rest of the human race… who refused to do what your wisdom dictates you to do. Namaste, The Queen Cronista