How does overcoming your fears, concerns, your limitations, and your what-ifs give you access to step out of your comfort zone and will empower your life? If you come from a place of anything is possible, anything is possible
This very question was asked by Leandra Antonutti, who led a Baptiste Yoga Assisting Course in Yoga Lab, Singapore, end May 2019. I was quite hesitant in writing this article because I was ashamed; ashamed of the thoughts that came up from that weekend; that never surfaced past my journal pages.
And since ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE especially in sharing my fears and my insecurities, I am doing this.
Before the weekend of the Assisting course (which was amazing), I was battling the stories in my head and my fears of being forgotten because I wasn’t asked to help out aka be an assistant to the facilitator.
Being an assistant in a Baptiste Yoga program is important to me as I am passionate about building a Baptiste yoga community here in Singapore and being one of 3 certified Baptiste Yoga Teachers, I want to be a stand for the community.
I did make a request for the assistant’s role however they asked someone else and I made it mean that I’m not important nor good enough.
The truth was I was concerned about looking good.
The Importance of Overcoming Your Fears and Limitations
Even writing this – I was worried others may think that I’m vain, too full of myself. The “who am I?” question comes up.
And I know those who know me are going “Pfft!” on me and ask what the hell am I talking about.
Hang on a minute. I’m not asking for pity or empathy. Just for you and I, to acknowledge that we can’t run away from our thoughts. We’re only human.
The first thing we usually do is to put on our armor.
One of my armors (I have many) is to hide and pretend everything is ok when it’s not.
I pretended I was ok that I’m not assisting the course.
And you know what happened? Last-minute, they asked me to come on board something came up with the selected assistant.
The Kind and Loving Person in me said Yes of course.
Be a Yes.
Give up what you must.
Come from a place you are ready now.
However, the child in me was feeling rather grumpy.
What came up for me then was the Baptiste Yoga methodology of Coming from a place of love and support (there’s nothing to fix).
This methodology had helped me in getting over the fear of teaching a yoga class. It never dawned upon me that it is possible to also come from a place of love and support off the mat.
I have been holding back in my interaction with others. There’s something in the way of me creating this way of being. Like I’m generous to a certain point. I’m kind to a certain extent. I’m loving to a certain extent.
There is a ‘but’.
My 8-year-self showed up – the middle child who has to compete with the elder and younger sis for attention; she has to give in to the younger and take 2nd place to the elder.
The 8 -year-old girl tells herself “I’m never going to be good enough.”
The feeling of “what about me”, even whilst I was assisting; in fact in many instances of my life.
Now that I wrote that down – it sounds silly and childish.
I’m not 8 years old anymore. I’m an amazing human being with lots of heart to give. I want to lead a life from a place of loving-kindness and I want to give back by sharing more loving-kindness out there to the world.