Confronting the bully and abuser….
Have you ever witnessed a bully or abuser first hand? Most of us see it everyday. Sometimes it’s the customer berating a poor waiter or waitress. Sometimes it’s a parent screaming at a child in the superstore. Sometimes it’s a man belittling a female in front of others. The list goes on and on. Sometimes we just notice we haven’t been as compassionate in a situation as we could have been.
Whatever the cause the results are usually the same; someone is hurt on the other side of the abuse and bullying. When a compassionate light-worker is called on their less than their usual kind actions, they are remorseful and saddened by their own behavior. The true bully and abuser will likely go passive aggressive on you and point out that it is none of your business, and it is the fault of the abused in the first place. This is hardest on the innocent child victims. They tend to believe what adults tell them. This damage may take lifetimes to heal; if ever.
The abuser always bullies the victim. Therefore, the victim, will withdraw more, and do less to protect themselves. They truly begin to believe that their responses are “crazy” and unreasonable. Often even the social services groups let themselves get convinced that the bully is correct and the victim ultimately feels deserving when nothing gets done.
I’ve seen this happening a lot over the years in private social groups such as clubs and religious organizations. The abusive, self-righteous cliques, stifle the abused wanna be; who just wants to fit somewhere. They will do anything to “fit” and be accepted. Therefore, the cycle continues. Light-workers, beware of the use of words like ‘only’ in these situations (i.e. I only meant to…). When abuse is not physical, the abuser finds it even easier to persuade outsiders about their justification of the situation. They minimize their behavior by saying…The victim wants attention, has no sense of reality, and makes something out of nothing.
Abusers also like to play the victim card. They will often get furious about being called out and be more worried about being caught than repairing all of the harm they’ve inflicted on others. It is our duty as light-workers to stand ground for the victims of abuse when we recognize it. Our compassion may truly make a difference in a life. I’ve been fighting against bullies for others since high school. As an adult, I find they get away with it more often these days. We must keep our awareness tuned, and our compassion in tact to help make this a better world. Namaste, The Queen Cronista