Diva Rambling: Queen’s Irreverent Rules of Engagement…

Several years ago one of the students went to our kitchen and took a lunch item I had warming in the convection oven out and put a note that foil could not be used in this oven!!!!!! The person was 18 years old and did not know the difference between a convection oven and a microwave.  I had to laugh because it was on a metal rack and the oven had metal sides???  Since I didn’t get my lunch I was testy when the students got to my classroom and I went on a rant about being careful who you date.  Someone who didn’t know the difference between the two kitchen items was definitely a high maintenance person who would be trouble on a good day. As I ranted I told them they had forced me to write the “Queen’s Respectfully Irreverent Rules of Engagement.” I did that for both males and females.  Below is the result of my rant….Namaste The Queen Cronista.

Queens’s Respectfully Irreverent Rules of Engagement

Gentlemen do not marry or even date the following females:

  • Someone who does not know the difference between a microwave and a convection oven (Hint knows no science or basic home economics)

  • Someone who is clingy or high maintenance; Arm candy can be bad for your health

  • Never consider someone who just giggles and pushes food around on a plate

  • Attempts to make you choose a profession that suits them

  • Who won’t watch a comic hero or war movie with you

  • Talks more about fashion and hair than current events or life in general

  • Won’t let you have time with the boys

  • Hand them the remote. If all they tune into is the Romance Channel run like crazy

  • Is extremely jealous and insecure

  • Endlessly Engages in inane chatter

  • Doesn’t like dogs

Gentlemen do not get married until you are 30 years old. You may know what you want by then

If she participates in one or more of the above behaviors…”Off with their head”

However the following females can be given serious consideration as a future date or spouse if…..

  • They are spiritually grounded (Same Intrinsic Values as you)

  • Can do one of the following…hunt, fish, handle some weapon or clean game

  • Opposites attract (Pareto’s the 80/20 rule applies/ see attached); if 80% of your intrinsic values are the same you’ve found a good match. If you argue about intrinsic values even 20.5% it’s time to cut bait.

  • Will gladly make food and let you watch a game with friends, and even occasionally attend a sports event with you with no complaining

  • Can deck an intruder or hug a baby with equal proficiency

  • If she is willing to learn to change the oil in the car or mow the lawn so you can spend more time with her

  • Is she as adept in the upkeep of the property, as in the kitchen, and glad to assist with either?

  • Would rather spend time on a walk with, you or watching a movie with you than shopping

  • A “man’s woman” who thinks it’s OK to have time with the boys, play video games, or have needed downtime as long as you don’t take advantage

  • Loves a strong, honorable man just the way you are

  • Loves you the sun, moon and stars but loves God more

  • Happy wife; happy life

Queens’s Respectfully Irreverent Rules of Engagement Ladies

Ladies do not marry or even date the following men:

  • Someone who does not know the difference between a microwave and a convection oven (Hint he knows no science or basic home economics)

  • Someone who is high maintenance; whiners need not apply

  • Muscle Mass can be bad for your health. Only thinks of sports and their body

  • Never consider someone who only eats meat and expects you to cook it for them all the time

  • A man who does not attempt to make you choose a profession that suits them. If you choose stay at home mom you have a great profession.

  • Someone who won’t watch a chick flick with you occasionally

  • Spends more time looking in a mirror, than in intelligent conversations

  • Only engages in macho conversations and postures his testosterone constantly

  • Won’t let you have time with the girls or your own down time

  • Is extremely jealous and insecure

  • Won’t babysit children or consider changing a diaper

  • Believes all household chores and children are a woman’s job

  • Doesn’t like dogs

Ladies do not get married until you are 30 years old. You may know what you want by then.

If he participates in one or more of the above behaviors…”Off with their head”

However the following males can be given serious consideration as a future date or spouse if…..

  • They are spiritually grounded (Same Intrinsic Values as you)

  • Someone who can deck an intruder or hug a baby with equal proficiency

  • Is proficient with some weaponry

  • Can do the following…change oil in a car, use power tools and kitchen appliances competently and likes doing it all most of the time

  • Opposites attract (Pareto’s the 80/20 rule applies); if 80% of your intrinsic values are the same you’ve found a good match. If you argue about intrinsic values even 20.5% it’s time to cut bait.

  • Will ask you to occasionally attend a sports event with him if you choose

  • Is he as adept in the upkeep of the house, as in the kitchen, and glad to assist with either?

  • Hand them the Sunday paper if the first thing they grab is the sports page run like crazy

  • Would rather spend time on a walk with you or watching a movie with you than playing video games

  • Loves a strong, beautiful, Diva just the way you are

  • Knows that a happy wife means a happy life

  • Loves you the sun, moon and stars but loves God more

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